In the past six months, I’ve experienced a lot of drastic changes unfolding inside me. A few falling outs left me feeling very confused about who I’ve been, what I’ve been choosing for myself, and ultimately, who I truly am.

When I first began diving deeper into the so-called “spiritual world” — meditation, energy work, inner healing, all of the beautiful practices that invite you inward — I felt like I had found something real. And in many ways, I had. It was good. It is still good. These practices brought me back to my breath, my heart, my body. They gave me tools for navigating the quiet places inside myself and offered language for the things I used to only feel but couldn’t explain.

But over time, something subtle began to happen — I unknowingly adopted a new kind of ego. A spiritual ego. One that quietly whispered, You should be more calm. You should respond with love. You should never feel anger or judgment. I started performing an idea of what a spiritual person was supposed to be, rather than simply being myself. I thought spirituality meant becoming someone else — someone softer, more serene, more “enlightened.”