Why It’s Not Selfish to Put Yourself First for the Love of Humanity

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was questioning why people continue to post about the material things they’re doing for themselves, especially in times of challenge or crisis. He seemed puzzled by the idea of people focusing on self-indulgence rather than collective well-being. But the reality is, everyone is at different stages in their life, and where someone is in their journey should not be a reason to judge them—or yourself. We all have our own paths, and we must honor where we are without comparing ourselves to others.

At the core, we are all born with the innate ability to heal ourselves. We are all healers by nature, with the capacity to heal and restore balance within. So, there’s nothing inherently extraordinary about what a healer can do that you can't do for yourself. The real gift of a healer lies not in their ability to perform miracles, but in their capacity to guide you back to your own power. The best healers don’t do the healing for you; they hold space, helping you to see yourself clearly and reconnect with your own wisdom.

From my personal experience with holistic doctors and various healers, I’ve learned that the most effective healers are those who are deeply grounded. When I say grounded, I mean they are not only present in the world but also internally centered. These healers know themselves well; they’ve done their own inner work and can hold space for others without projecting their own unresolved issues. A truly grounded healer understands that their role is not to impose their own experience onto you, but to be a clear vessel—guiding you so that you can connect with your own healing potential.

Unfortunately, not all so-called healers are able to embody this level of self-awareness. I’ve been skeptical of some healers I’ve encountered, primarily because of the imbalance or ego I sensed around them. They called themselves healers, yet I could feel that they hadn’t fully worked through their own personal traumas. Instead of offering pure, unbiased guidance, they would project their unresolved emotions onto their clients. They wanted the title of “healer” not so much to help others, but as a way to validate themselves and feel better in their own lives. This kind of healer has not yet learned to value themselves fully, which makes it difficult for them to be truly helpful to others.

The point here is that, in order to help others, we must first help ourselves. Self-care, inner work, and grounding are not selfish acts—they are necessary for anyone who wants to offer authentic support to others. You cannot pour from an empty cup. In order to help heal the world, we must begin by healing ourselves. This means taking the time to get to know ourselves deeply, to engage in practices that center us, and to truly understand our own needs, desires, and boundaries. When we are grounded, we are able to discern what is right for us, and we are better able to guide others with clarity and compassion.

Self-care is not about self-indulgence; it’s about self-preservation and self-awareness. When you take time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and prioritize your own well-being, you are filling your own cup. Only then can you share your energy and light with others. This is not a selfish act—it’s a necessary one. By nurturing yourself, you are better equipped to nurture the world around you.

Moreover, being grounded means spending time in stillness. In a world that often feels chaotic, stillness allows us to connect with the truth inside of us. It opens our third eye to see beyond surface-level distractions and to perceive what is pure, clear, and aligned with our highest good. In stillness, we can discern what truly resonates with us and what does not. This clarity is essential for anyone who wants to be a guide or healer for others.

So, don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It’s not selfish—it’s the most loving thing you can do for both yourself and humanity. By grounding yourself, taking care of your own needs, and staying true to your path, you create the space to show up more fully for others. It’s only when we value ourselves and our own healing that we can truly be of service to others in a way that is genuine, effective, and loving.